Note: Here’s another attempt I made at translating my grandfather’s little A.A. book into a message for people who have too much privilege. I have found it fairly straight forward to apply the wisdom of the 12 steps to folks in need of sobriety/recovery from social privileges. See my previous posts for more examples…
August 7–A.A. Thoughts for the Day
We in [recovery] are offering an intangible thing, a psychological and spiritual program. It’s a wonderful program. When we learn to turn to a Higher Power, with faith that that Power can give us the strength we need, we find peace of mind. When we reeducate our minds by learning to think differently, we find new interests that make life worthwhile. We who have achieved [total acceptance] through faith in God and mental reeducation are modern miracles. It is the function of our [Privilege Recovery Anonymous] program to produce modern miracles. Do I consider the change in my life a modern miracle?
Meditation for the Day
You should never doubt that God’s spirit is always with you, wherever you are, to keep you on the right path. God’s keeping power is never at fault, only your realization of it. You must try to believe in God’s nearness and the availability of His grace. It is not a question of whether God can provide a shelter from the storm, but of whether or not you seek the security of that shelter. Every fear, worry or doubt is disloyalty to God. You must endeavor to trust God wholly. Practice saying, “All is going to be well.” Say it to yourself until you feel it deeply.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may feel deeply that all is well. I pray that nothing will be able to move me from that deep conviction.
A dramatic retelling by Greg Shafer
Then Yeshua and the disciples were in Capernaum. Peter was outside alone when a group of tax collectors came. “Peter,” they said, “Does that Rabbi of yours pay the temple tax like everybody else?”
Peter was afraid of the tax collectors, and couldn’t imagine the Christ doing anything wrong, so he spoke without knowledge.
“Yes, yes of course he does…” he answered.
He went inside the house, hoping that they would just go away.
But when he came inside, Yeshua spoke with him, “Answer me something, Peter. Do the Kings of the earth tax their own sons? Or just the other people?”
Peter was alarmed because he knew Christ knew about the tax collectors outside, but he didn’t know where Christ was going with this.
“From others only,” Peter replied.
“That’s right. Their sons are exempt,” said Yeshua. “Look Peter, we don’t have to do this. We don’t have to play this silly game of theirs. They demand from us dirt when God gives us gold. But so we don’t hurt their feelings, let’s play along. Go and catch a fish, inside will be a coin. That coin will pay your taxes and mine. Go head, it’ll be great.”
June 24–A.A. Thought for the Day
Privilege is our weakness. We suffer from mental conflicts from which we look for escape by drowning our problems in social ladders. We try through feelings of superiority to push away from the realities of life. But privilege does not feed, privilege does not build, it only borrows from the future and it ultimately destroys. We try to drown our feelings in order to escape life’s realities, little realizing or caring that in continued attention-seeking we are only multiplying our problems. Have I got control over my unstable emotions?
This “Thought for the Day” from my grandfather’s little A.A. book was originally written about the weakness of alcohol. I took some liberties to change a few words in order to help me focus on privilege, social ladders, etc. But I hope the original content shines through in spite of my editing, as it has proven to be spiritual gold for folks all over the place. The next day’s entry (June 25th) goes on to say, “One of the most encouraging facts of life is that your weakness can become your greatest asset.” So true! If only we had this program and its resources for those of us who feel licked by an addiction to social advantages. Maybe it’s time to start one…
I have hesitated to write specifically about my “free counseling” ministry. It’s not that I’ve wanted to keep anything under wraps, but it hasn’t seemed “big enough” to say much until just a few weeks ago. Of course, I also want to be sensitive to the privacy and confidence of those I help.
That said, I’ve created a page (here) and my dad put together a website (here) to provide more detail about my proposal and give access to referral forms. I’m looking forward to seeing how all this will unfold. My hope is that this project inspires others as well. That each one of us may use the gifts God has planted inside and experience real freedom in giving without pay.
June 1–A.A. Thought for the Day
Some things I do not miss since becoming dry: that overall awful feeling physically, including the shakes, a splitting headache, pains in my arms and legs, bleary eyes, fluttering stomach, droopy shoulders, weak knees, a three-day beard, and a flushed complexion. Also, facing my loved one at breakfast. Also, composing the alibi and sticking to it. Also, trying to shave or put on make-up with a shaky hand. Also, opening up my wallet to find it empty. I don’t miss these things, do I?
My grandpa Walsh gave me this little AA book back in 1998 when I had my own problem with drugs and alcohol. Recently, I realized that the things a recovering alcoholic (or drug addict) does not miss about getting high can easily be translated into the things I do not miss about seeking privilege. In an effort to draw out these connections and strengthen my resolve, I constructed my own list of things I do not miss:
- I do not miss measuring myself with neighbors, friends, co-workers–all in secret–about who has the best possessions, job, social standing, etc.
- I do not miss moving at the speed of machines and feeling dizzy with my anxiety, always trying to keep up.
- I do not miss working harder and harder to plan for benefits, respect, and money.
- I do not miss living in denial about all this and justifying myself with soft lies.
- I do not miss churches and sermons that could only apply to people like me with way too much privilege.
- I do not miss feeling disgusted with my options (yet responsible for my choices) and apparently powerless to make a change.
- I do not miss taking advantage of people in poverty for their willingness to go above and beyond.
- I do not miss grabbing more than my fair share.
- And I do not miss feeling sorry for myself.
No, I do not miss these things!
My oldest friend, Jay, took me up on an adventure to walk from Chico to Red Bluff (about 40 miles) right before New Years 2017. We decided to take the railroad track for most of the journey. It became a way for us to “clear the cobwebs,” talk with each other, and hear God’s will. It was so meaningful; truly, a pilgrimage that I will never forget. I’m grateful in more ways than I can say for all the yearnings that we expressed and all the lovingkindness given.
Thank you, Jay, and all our traveling angels (especially Joana and Joann!).
The killing of Desmond Phillips exactly one month ago has been on my mind in a special way today. His brutal death reveals a community tension around black lives, law enforcement, and mental health disability in Chico. Even while the District Attorney officially announced that the officers were “justified” in shooting Desmond, I find no comfort in their verdict. Desmond had no trial, yet he was sentenced to death in less than 30 minutes. On this Good Friday, theologian James Cone would have us remember that these “crucified bodies in our midst” are “the real scandal of the cross.”