Ways of Resistance

To get things rolling (on a somewhat thought provoking/humorous tone), I am posting an “abstinence journal” that I completed for one of my classes last year. We affectionately called this class “Sex and Drugs.” And, just like the title suggests, it was about sex and drugs. So, for the whole semester, I wrote a journal on abstaining from television as a way to better understand the experiences of future clients who may want to talk about or abstain from, well, sex and drugs. I’ll try and post a few entries every couple of days.

Here it is, (relatively) uncut…

(9/29/07) I watched a couple videos at work and one at school in class. I also found a few videos on a friend’s blog and watched them. I guess you could call those slips, but I think I’ll sleep OK tonight anyway. Still, I think it’s important to not watch movies or television programs online–that would kind of defeat the purpose of abstaining. And actually, I have been feeling very fulfilled without the television on. I have more time to read, write, talk, have fun, eat with friends/family, etc. Plus, I notice that a little silence and open space in my life does me some good. There is more room for relationships and activities that benefit relationships.

(10/9/07) This week has been a little harder than previous weeks…Over the weekend, I found myself dreaming about watching TV. I understood it as a “tug-o-war” dream; I remember having dreams like this when I quit smoking–when part of me wanted to continue mostly out of habit and feeling inadequate to the task. And then my wife mentioned to me her desire to sit back and watch a movie after our very long work day! Suddenly, I felt the anticipation and adrenaline rush of entertainment (and the promise of interpersonal peace) conveniently offered by the BIG SCREEN. It isn’t that I hate stories or entertainment or media. Just that I feel robbed and cheated by a media machine when it works more to pacify me with ads and product placements than to inspire me or to invoke change in my already too dull life.

(10/17/07) …I overheard Julissa discussing some plans for a “movie night” with our friends. She knows I am doing this experiment, though I think she isn’t fully aware of the day-to-day meaning and importance I give it. I thought I would ask her if she had considered my “no movies project” when planning the get-together. She had two things to say. First, that it was intended to be a “girls night” anyway. Apparently, I wasn’t invited :). And second, not necessarily due to the first reason, she had not thought about my abstinence and would try to consider it in the future. I kind of figured that would be the case since it’s more my priority than it is hers. And that’s OK. It occurs to me, though, that in this experiment I am actually changing something more fundamental than just a habit. I am changing the relationship with my wife and maybe even with certain friends (who themselves may want to watch TV more than I can or should).

What is it about mind-numbing programs that are so enticing (and potentially divisive)?